I am seated in a chapel beside the 1-year old baby Halley*. (She was a child of my college friend who died last year.) Behind me, there are three elderly women. At the opposite pew, my brother Kuya Gil is seated beside his friends. My college bestfriend Danny sits at the pew in front of Kuya.
Halley cries so I called Danny. He comes right away and gets Halley. She starts smiling as if she is victorious. I laugh as I understand her pretend-cry.

The old woman behind me starts to cry. She laments that her time is fast approaching. The other women try to console her. Another girl who I knew in the university comes to the woman.

“My time is coming too,” she says. They are all crying.

Then one man in dark grey suit and tie enters the chapel. He stops halfway through the isle and stares at what is in front. He seems emotional. I grab his arm and try to talk to him but he is absorbed by the moment. He continues to walk forward crying.

I glance at my brother. He is chatting with his friends. And then….

What is he doing here? Why is Halley with us? Why am I in this place?

Halley must be with her father. Kuya is supposed to be in Canada. Danny is in Korea. And I am supposed to be… in bed.

No!! This just a dream. I am dreaming. I am back in my bed now. Now I am awake.. But no, I can’t move. Oh yes, this has happened thousands of times since I was a child. I know I only have to calm down. This is easier than when I am floating. I only have to relax my body till I gain control again. Then I will start moving my fingers and toes.

There, I can move them now. But my chest feels heavier. Wait! There’s someone awake. I am safe. They only just need to notice that I am having a “nightmare”. Then they will wake me up.

I will speak. I may not be understandable but whoever’s awake will hear me and realize what’s happening.

I am speaking. She noticed. I don’t know her, but she ‘looks’ nice. She is trying to wake me up. I still cannot move. My chest feels heavier. I can also hear my own heartbeats. They are becoming faster and louder.

Another person from outside the room is also awake.

“Maybe she’s already awake, but she can’t move,” she said to the first person awake.

“I want to wake her up, but I can’t reach her,” the first person said.

(I sleep at the higher bunk bed).

I am trying hard to relax my body. But what about my heartbeats? They are slowing down!!

I hear somebody else speaking.

“The window is open.”

I see hands from outside the window. They grab the window grills and now they are getting inside. I feel something coming up from my feet. And it’s as if something is piercing my side.

The dream!! It was about a funeral! It was about death!! Was it a warning? No way! I need to keep my heart beating. I will pray, but I will scream my prayer.

I am praying. But what are these prayers? I can’t understand them. What language is that?

Someone is now actually moving in the room. Oh yes, I know her. She’s my new roommate. There’s a light. It’s a light from a cellphone. It’s not enough. I will try to speak.

I want light. I am screaming. The new roommate is calling me. I still can’t wake up. I will call my friend who also happens to be my roommate.

“Arvie!”

“Ilaw!” (Light!)

I screamed for what felt like five minutes.

There! The room’s main light is on.

Arvie gets up and shakes me.

I am awake now. I look at my two roommates. They look back at me in horror.

It’s 5AM. I might fall asleep again. I know it will come back. I slapped myself and stayed awake.

I sent messages to my brother and my friend.

They replied that they, too, just woke up from a nightmare.
*Names were changed for privacy